Jesus wept. –– John 11:35

While mourning may indicate weakness, it can speak of spiritual strength. It all depends on the cause of the mourning. If it is to express frustration or to vent emotions when one does not get one’s own way, such sorrow does demonstrate a lack of Christian character. However, if the weeping is to show sympathy for the grief of another, or to accompany repentance for misdeeds, or to express sorrow for the inability to live a life acceptable to God, then such tears are beneficial to spiritual growth.

Sympathetic Mourning

“The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Not only has mankind spent the past six thousand years paying those wages, but it has also paid the concomitant costs of sickness, pain, and loss. These experiences are usually accompanied by the emotion of grief. Perhaps nothing demonstrates this more than the tears shed daily at countless funerals throughout the world.

Such was the case in the death of Lazarus of Bethany. He was the brother of Mary and Martha and was greatly loved by Jesus. A large number of mourners attended his funeral and were still present some three days later when Jesus arrived on the scene. The Master knew well that he had the power to bring Lazarus back from the grave. He had previously told his disciples that he was glad he had not been there when his friend was still alive and he could have healed him (John 11:15).

Because he remained away from Bethany until Lazarus had died plus three days more, it might at first appear callous, merely prolonging the family’s grief. Then, arriving on the scene, rather than immediately bringing them the joy of resuscitation, he pauses to weep. He knew well that it was only the matter of a command and Lazarus would come forth from the tomb. Yet he pauses to weep and to pray. Why? It was not to put on a show of personal anguish; it was because he was personally touched by the tragedy. He knew the anguish of Mary and Martha. He felt the grief of the assembled family, friends, and mourners. More than that, he was touched with similar portrayals of grief throughout a world marred by the “wages of sin.” These tears are blessed tears.

We all have friends in similar circumstances. We also feel their grief. We mourn with them, but how do we show our feelings? Many of us feel awkward in approaching even close friends because we do not have the words to express our emotions. What can we do to make our compassion more helpful to a sorrowing heart?

1) Cry with them. Such tears are not of weakness, but necessary to the acceptance of a great loss.

2) Tactile, or touch, communication. If we are close enough, give a hug; at least, a touch on the shoulder or arm or a warm handshake accompanied by a compassionate facial expression. Touch communication, especially when prolonged, says in body language, “I really care.”

3) Share the memories of the past. Such reveries keep the deceased alive in the mind of the bereaved. “The memory of the just is blessed” (Proverbs 10:7).

4) Share the hopes of the future. There is no greater comfort than in the biblical doctrine that Jesus died for all, regardless of the record of the present life — both the good and the evil.

5) Follow through. Deep grief does not pass in a day, or a week, or even a It is often some time after the tragedy, when comforting support slackens, that sorrow has its deepest impact. The wise man has truly said, “A friend loveth at all times and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).

Mourning for Sin

The daily media is replete with stories of sin, wickedness, violence, and corruption. It is not surprising that a Christian reacts with disgust and repulsion. The degree of human degradation is repugnant to any individual striving to live a godlike life. Yet that very spirit of God, while thoroughly hating the sin, must strive to be cognizant of human weakness and continue to love the sinner. While recognizing the principles of appropriate judgment, a Christian must never take delight in the administration of its penalty. The Bible states that God has “no pleasure in the death of the wicked” (Ezekiel 33:11).

When the same prophet decried the corruption of the religious and civil systems of his day (in words appropriate to the conditions of our time), he instructs a man with a writer’s inkhorn to “Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof” (Ezekiel 9:4). The appropriate attitude is not delight in the deserved punishments, but sorrow for their necessity. Viewing the totality of wickedness that prevailed in the years before the flood, it is written that it “grieved him [the LORD] at his heart” (Genesis 6:6).

Mourning Our Inabilities

The Apostle Paul describes the dilemma of a loyal Jew under the law trying to obey its righteous precepts while hindered by the effects of being born in sin and shapen in iniquity. He says of such that, while their spirit is willing, their flesh is weak so that they could not do the things they would. Finally, he pictures such a one as crying out, “O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24).

According to Beet’s Commentary, the Greek word translated “wretched” is better rendered “calamity stricken,” and is frequently used in Greek tragedies where it “describes not a man’s state of mind, but his circumstances.” The word was well chosen by Paul, for it is the circumstance of inherited sin and not the desire of the mind that the apostle is lamenting, and it is the disparity between the two that produces the mournful cry, “O wretched man that I am.”

Such mourning is appropriate, but the Bible provides comfort. It assures us that the Creator is cognizant of our inabilities and accordingly modifies his judgments with mercy. The psalmist expresses it in these words: “Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou under-standest my thought afar off ” (Psalms 139:2).

The Mourning of Repentance

The series of beatitudes Jesus gives in the fifth chapter of Matthew may be compared to a child’s building blocks, each adding to the one before it. While all the forms of mourning mentioned above are good and beneficial, the second beatitude speaks most directly of the mourning of a repentant heart. This mourning is a result and outgrowth of the poverty of spirit mentioned in the first beatitude. Whereas the first speaks of the recognition of a sinful and undone condition, the second speaks of the heart’s response to this fact: regret, repentance, and sorrow.

It is common in many Christian circles where only adult baptism is practiced to ask the candidates a series of questions beginning with the following two queries:

1) Do you admit that you are a member of a sinful and fallen race? (In other words, do you acknowledge your own poverty of spirit?)
2) Have you repented of this and made what restitution is possible? (This is the “mourning” of the second )

Works Worthy of Repentance 

Paul speaks of “deeds worthy of … repentance” (Acts 26:20, RSV). He uses similar language when he writes: “Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter” (2 Corinthians 7:9-11).

There is a godly sorrow and there is an ungodly sorrow. Godly sorrow leads to repentance; ungodly sorrow leads to despair and, too frequently, suicide. Godly sorrow is productive of seven successive works:

1) What carefulness. Thayer gives “speed or haste” as the primary definition of the Greek word spoude used here, with “diligence” as a secondary Combined, these characterize an attitude that responds quickly and zealously to the correction of identified faults.

2) What clearing of yourselves. The Greek word is apologia from which we get our word “apology.” Perhaps this would be the best translation The recognition of having done a wrong should be rapidly followed by an apology for the fact. Even if no other person was harmed, the apology should come in the form of an expression to God in prayer of sorrow for the misdeed.

3) What indignation. One of the prophetic descriptions of Christ is that he not only loved righteousness but also that he “hated iniquity” (Hebrews 1:9; Psalms 45:7). When a sinful thought becomes harbored in the mind, it must be detested and rejected. The appropriate emotion is beautifully described in the Greek word aganaktesis used here, from which we derive the word “agonize.”

4) What fear. The Greek word is phobia. True repentant sorrow produces an attitude of “sin-phobia,” a dread of falling into the clutches of sin.

5) What vehement desire. Epipotheo, used here, is an intensified form of potheo, “to yearn, or long ” The King James translation of “vehement desire” is well chosen. Having identified the wrong and developed an aversion to it, the true mourner has an intense desire to rid himself of it.

6) What zeal. The desire to rid oneself of sin, while admirable, is not enough. It must be translated into remedial action, and this with great ardor or It must be worked at.

7) What revenge. Barnes, in his Notes on the Bible, writes that the Greek word ekdikesis used here has the thought of “maintenance of right.” Literally it could be translated as the “outworking [ek] of justice [dikesis].” Having removed the short- coming to the best of one’s ability, the final product of godly sorrow is the establishment of protective walls so that the sin is not repeated.

Sackcloth and Ashes

Customs today in most cultures expect mourners to wear dignified clothing. Such was not the case in Bible times. There the mourners “rent their clothes” and wore sackcloth (a garment, usually a sash or girdle made of camel’s hair). The first recorded use of this custom in the Bible was by the patriarch Jacob (Genesis 37:34). Tamar is the first one mentioned who added the placing of ashes on the head (2 Samuel 13:19), though Joshua is spoken of as expressing his sorrow for Achan’s looting of Jericho by putting dust on his head (Joshua 7:6). Jesus implies that the combined custom of sackcloth and ashes may have dated back as far as the days of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Matthew 11:21).

It is the sackcloth, a rough and poor garment, that illustrates the relationship between the first two beatitudes, the fact that the mourning is an outgrowth of poverty of spirit. Ashes, on the other hand, add another dimension to the expression of sorrow. Not only were they the remnants of something that had been destroyed, but they also implied a deep-set memory of that object. The ashes of the red heifer which were used in Jewish ritual cleansings for sin (Numbers 19:9) are commonly thought of by Bible Students as indicative of the remembrance of the faithful lives of ancient prophets (Tabernacle Shadows, p. 108). This same concept of ashes indicating memory is used today by those who keep the ashes of a cremated relative in an urn as a memorial.

So godly sorrow must not only destroy (turn to ashes) the imperfections identified in oneself but also create a memorial of these experiences to ensure that they will not be repeated. When all mankind does this successfully, they will realize the value of God in permitting evil for more than these past six thousand years.

They Shall Be Comforted

When the conditions of the beatitude are fully met, the promised blessing will be secured. The comfort of the mourner will consist partly in the fact that he needs fear no chastisement from God if he has truly done his part in that effectual mourning productive of the godly works of repentance, and more fully from the knowledge that the day will soon come when the causes of all sorrow shall be removed.

Though Christians may mourn, they are not to be constantly mournful. Rather they are to be rejoicing Christians, even in trials and tribulations, “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations” (James 1:2). “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, Rejoice” (Philippians 4:4).

–– The Herald of Christ’s Presence 2002/3